So yeh... Another massive gap between updates, I think I've conceded that my goal of combining thoughts and irrelevant imagery on my own behalf is a coordinated effort I just don't have time for right now... But I guess you're just going to have to forgo the visual stimulation and focus strictly on the thoughts and words I'm currently typing on this bumpy bus ride. Ironic though as I obviously know that reading on the internet sucks and even shittier without some images to hold your hand and give you momentary mental breathers. Having known full well that in terms of my job at Hypebeast posting another fuggin' pair of sneakers, the picture and not the text is something considered much more important to the viewer. I don't mind reversing roles as the wiring done here is a definite departure from the day-to-day mindless drab I spiel about obvious color tones, prices and release dates.
After a lackluster setting for Christmas, I really had hoped for guaranteed excitement for Chinese New Year's but perhaps by virtue of my own short-comings, the days off really didn't see like a day-off and the expected R&R associated with the pinnacle of holidays for the Chinese population never materialized. And mind you I didn't even partake in many of the expected Chinese New Year events but still felt overwhelmed with a lack of time and stress haha. It's getting bad when you can't enjoy yourself amongst family cause thoughts of a self-exploding Google Reader and unfinished work never escapes the front of your mind but rather overcomes the fun times you would expect from rare family moments.
In the past I've always been a firm believer that regardless of how much shit changes, you adapt and get on with it.... Simply put, and for the last few years and especially coming out of university, these sentiments rang true. I actually looked forward towards the adaptive process cause at the end you'd end up with a positive change. Yet for the first time ever, I feel as though I've reached some sort of limit and peak. there are some obvious constrains that are unavoidable, and referring to the cliche statement "there aren't enough hours in a day"... I think I'm truly there? Is the next step to work to the best of your limitations. Some how I feel that re-prioritization of the things important to me won't necessarily be as fruitful of a change as the additional elements I've taken on in the past. Maybe I fail at life-hacking haha. Some would say work-less... yet I feel like this is something I can't do. I get paid peanuts yet still put (another cliche term) a 200% effort in everytime... yet doing less work seems like something that is ingrained in my attitude towards life... but please god let it pay off sometime soon...
I know my mom reads this so I definitely want to give her a shout-out... It's been almost six months since I've seen her and foreseeably another six more before I see her again. Knowing the stuff she has to deal with on the daily, the recent sale of the house I grew up in brought forth an initial sad reaction only to realize that in the end shit will be a lot easier for her and that's only half the stuff I could wish her. I still owe my mom a Jaguar, something I promised as a 10 year old haha.
As I mentioned I started writing this on the bus and am now finishing on the subway. Maybe I gotta do this more often, god-bless the Nokia E71. Boo to the iPhone and Blackberry Bold
Peace
eXtremeugene
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1 comment:
A very human post. Don't be a machine. Write when you FEEL the urge to write.
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